Snap Shot #13: The Factories and the Robots

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My eight-year old son and I are heading home after kicking a footy in the park. As we walk past the building where he was conceived, I repeat what my wife and I have been saying to him for years: “There’s the Luke factory”. He doesn’t really respond, so I decide to ask him a question: “How do you think you were made?” I’m pretty sure his response will involve the word ‘sexing’, as he has for some weeks now been declaring that he knows what it is, slightly shocking my wife and I that he’s across the concept at his age. “You and Mum got me out of a box and I was put together by robots.” Wow! I didn’t see that coming. Suddenly he’s an innocent little boy again – with quite the imagination. “That sounds pretty exciting. But no, that’s not how you were made.” We walk in silence for awhile. I give it some thought and then decide to take the leap. “Do want to know how were made?” “Okay.” “Well, you know what ‘sexing’ is, don’t you?” “Yeah, it’s when the man puts his penis in the woman’s gavina.” “It’s actually called a ‘vagina’ but yeah, that’s right. Well, that’s how you make a baby. The woman gets pregnant and then nine months later, out comes the baby.” Shocked silence. Then, “Really?” “Yep.” More silence. Then, “Ahhh – I knew you and Mum must have had sex at least once.” I laugh. More silence. But this time, I can almost see the little cogs in his brain spinning around and I know what’s coming next. “So… you and Mum could have sex again and make me a brother!” “Unfortunately, no. Women get to a certain age and then their bodies can no longer make a baby.” He’s disappointed. But I can tell that he’s buzzing with this newfound knowledge and is probably busting to get back to the schoolyard (where he no doubt learned what little he did know about ‘sexing’) and share this bombshell with his little mates. What I fail to foresee, however, is that he will soon suddenly stand up in his afterschool-care classroom and declare to kids aged five to ten: “All your parents had sex at least once before you were born!”

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